You're Gonna Be

If you have a child or know someone who does and they are seeing that their child is struggling, maybe my posts and the comments of others will help.  I wasn’t sure what would be the best format to share this in – a blog or a facebook page – I just wanted to be able to share our story and our experiences.  I’ll share information and links I find along the way and encourage others to share any positive experiences or information they have as well. Sometimes it feels like you’re alone but there are great people out there who are good at what they do and are willing to help.  Stay encouraged!  It’s a lot of work, but your child is worth it.

Some of you may know my son Jack.  He is an awesome kid with wisdom beyond his 12 years.  He is very loving and thoughtful.  He enjoys video games, movies and drawing.  He writes some very creative stories and has a unique way of looking at things.  Up until this year, Jack has done fairly well in school.  I have always noticed a problem with focus and what seemed to me to be some processing issues.  But not having any experience with learning disabilities, I didn't realize how much was really going on.  Over the years I had mentioned my concerns but they were always quieted by people telling me “his grades are too good.”

It wasn’t until this year (6^th grade), with 7 different classes, an IPad and a heavy work load that the deficits became undeniable.  Now again, I’m confessing my ignorance to how the whole school system works.  I assumed because he received A’s, B’s and C’s in his prior grades he was doing well.  It wasn’t until recent assessments that I found out he has pretty significant deficits in many areas.

I believe it was in October when I discovered he was failing many of his classes – this was the evening Jack broke down and cried and told me “It’s too much, mom!  It’s too much!” and it shook me to my core.  I saw my son, who is intelligent, sweet, and funny – always wanting to do good – feeling like a failure, broken by the system and I had to do something!

I’m writing this because I wasn’t quite sure what to do – there wasn’t a handbook that was readily available to tell me what to do next when your kid can’t take any more.  Again, not having any experience with learning difficulties, I didn’t know where to begin.  I was broken hearted that my son had to struggle and that he was beginning to hate school.

So I wallowed in my self-pity for a minute, feeling like a failure because I didn’t pick up on it earlier and do something about it.  After crying it out, and spending time in prayer, it was time for me to get up, put my big girl pants on and tackle it head on.

God is so good.  A good friend of mine and her daughter stepped in right when I needed them most.  Rachel, having a PhD performed a verbal behaviors milestone assessment with Jack via Google Hangouts.   Here she found some deficits.  So being the awesome person she is, her and her mom put together materials for me to use to help Jack.  So the weekend before Thanksgiving, the family loaded up the car and drove to Pittsburgh so I could take a crash course in a method to help Jack.  Once there, she taught me some techniques, loaded me down with boxes of flash cards and binders of materials -  all because they care ♥

What was the next step? – my friends suggested I contact the school for assessments.  So I contacted the school and they suggested I take him to his doctor for a medical diagnosis.  The doctor agreed with my thoughts that Jack had ADD.  He sent us to a Psychologist for determination.  We went to the Psychologist who said she believed he had ADD and other learning disabilities.  She in turn sent us to a Neuro-Psychologist who could perform the assessments we’d need in order to find out what was going on.  This doctor, Dr. Judith Harrington, was a God send.  Some of the assessments she performed were life changing.  I was able to witness something I wouldn’t have believed if I hadn’t seen it for myself. I'm excited to continue this journey and see where it takes us.  I'm expecting great things and can't wait to see who he's going to be!!!  (I’ll write more next time – sharing the assessment results and one particular assessment that really opened up my mind to what Jack was experiencing.)