The other day Jack had a hard day at school. As we were riding home from school I could
hear it in his voice – his frustration, his anger, and his hurt. He never quite got to the BIG thing that made
the day bad. There was a kid he has regular dislike for that did
something to Jack’s friend. There was a
girl who said something mean. There was
a teacher who Jack felt was unfair.
As we were driving, Jack said several times “… and I didn’t do
anything!” - meaning he was getting all
this grief and he didn’t do anything wrong.
I told him “Exactly! Now you’re getting
the picture! You hit the nail on the
head! You didn’t do anything and people
were still jerks to you. So them being
jerks to you has nothing to do with you!
It has to do with them.” Then I
went on to tell him the stories of how there were people I love in my life who
would talk bad about me behind my back and it would hurt my heart. Then I had the revelation that if I didn’t do
anything to them, there was no way I could make it right. So their treatment of me was on them. I realized that if I’m alright with the Lord,
then I’m alright.
With Jack though there seems to be a hypersensitivity to
what others say or think of him. If one
kid doesn’t like him, no one likes him.
If a teacher gets on his case, all the teachers hate him. It’s as if the old saying making mountains
out of molehills was created to describe Jack.
In fact, I’m a little ashamed to say, that when Jack was little I would tell him he’s Drama and I’m Drama’s mama.
But, what I’m learning through this process is that these molehills are mountains to him and I need to teach him to climb those mountains.
Many times people will say "Suck it up!" These situations that happen aren’t necessarily things he
can just suck up. He needs counseled
through them. They need to be presented
in a way that he can logically and emotionally accept – and that’s where
counseling and stimulating truth for him through scripture and examples seem to
help.
There’s a saying “Every feeling begins with a thought.” If I can keep his thoughts on the truth of
what an awesome kid he is and that everyone reacts based on who they are and
not on who he is, I’m hopeful it will make a world of difference.
So if you’re living with someone who seems to make big deals
out of things that to you seem small, just remember, it is BIG to them. Imagine if you’re like me and haven’t done much
mountain climbing – If you had to climb a large hill or a large sand dune, you’d
probably be winded. But if you take a
person who has climbed Mount Everest, they’d think it was nothing to climb the
large sand dune. It’s all relative.
But, I believe Jack's perspective is going to motivate him in whatever path he chooses to conquer the mountains and change the world!
To quote Steve Jobs, “Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently; they're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."
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